Yesterday I got the fantastic news from Julia Dordel, actor/producer/creator of "Libelle - The Series" that I had won the award for Best Director of a TV Pilot at the Los Angeles Film, TV & Webisode Film Festival.
A wonderful surprise, a great honor and an excellent motivator that couldn't have come at a better time. "Motivator...?" you say? Yes, even someone like me who always has something on the go needs the occasional boost or professional validation that essentially says, "Don't give up!"
The vagaries of the film and television industry make it next to impossible for those of us who are a ways from "A-List" to make a solid living doing only one thing. Though I've directed a bunch of short films etc. I'm still not getting paid for most of it so a lot of my time is spent doing the writing and story consulting work that pays the bills and the directing is relegated to more of a hobby.
Directing takes a lot more time, energy and commitment than a lot of hobbies out there and so after awhile one starts to ask questions like:
- "What am I doing here?"
- "Is this worth it?"
- "Have I got what it takes?"
- "Am I EVER going to make a living at this?!"
With age comes experience, grey hairs and introspection. Priorities shift. Dreams transform and sometimes even fade away. When I started out on this crazy film and tv adventure I was barely an adult, I had bags of optimism and wide-eyed wonder, I'd sacrifice anything and everything for a break and most importantly, I was completely naive. If I'd had any massive success back then it would have been mostly luck and I would have probably messed up any opportunities that came my way simply because I was too dumb to even know that they were opportunities.
I've had my struggles along the way but I've also had enough amazing experiences to keep cynicism at bay and to continue kicking the wheels on the film and tv jalopy.
Which is why winning the recognition of ones peers is so important. It's not enough to have friends and family tell us "Well done! Keep making films!" We need Likes, Shares, Re-Tweets and yes, even official accolades, to let us know that we're still headed in the right direction and all these things are best when they come from complete strangers who have no obligation to Like, Share and Re-Tweet.
So to that end, check out Episode 4 and 5 of "Libelle" (and if you've yet to see them, Episodes 1, 2 and 3 as well!).
As for the directing award and what it means to me, I'm choosing to take a moment to pat myself on the back and thank all of the amazing people who helped me along the way. You know who you are!
I'm also going to turn the award into some positive momentum to work harder, write better and take the directing work to the next level starting with my next webseries project "Fools For Hire". Stay tuned for more on this coming soon.
Until next time folks, keep fighting the good fight.